How to avoid energy vampires with Dr Christiane Northstrup

Dr Christiane Northrup classifies us into two categories: empaths and energy vampires.

She explores this in her latest book, ‘Dodging Energy Vampires’ published by Hay House and on our must-read list.


People who believe others are inherently good and will often stay in a toxic relationship too long whilst making excuses for narcissists.

They seek out the best in others, are highly sensitive and feel deeply.

Smells, medications and sounds can cause them to react. They want to make the world a better place.

Energy Vampires

People who tend to be very charming, narcissistic and can be addictive.

They are unable to get their energy from a source inside themselves; instead they use empaths as their energy source.

They exhibit characteristics associated with cluster B personality disorder in psychiatry.

Borderline personality disorder.

Narcissistic personality disorder.

Histrionic personality disorder.

Antisocial personality disorder.

They often play victim, do not feel obligated to do the right thing and often could not care less what others are feeling or thinking.

Dr Northstrup argues these people do not change, later life can mellow them.

They are often good-looking and exciting, making the empath feel flattered by their attention.

Dr Northstrup says they use sex as a way to keep the empath chemically attached.

They use money to control, they gaslight empaths to make them feel like they are the ones losing their minds.


Could you be in a relationship with an energy vampire?

Dr Northrup says one in five people (male and female) have vampire characteristics.

She says most people do not realise they are dealing with energy vampires because they can be super charming at first. They often rob you of your energy and target sensitive, caring people.

“Soon, you are blindsided with insults, being shamed for your social status, body size, age income level, how you talk or where you come from – and even abused. Energy vampires also can become moody and distant, so you walk on eggshells, expending even more of your energy while praising and admiring them just to keep the peace. This can negatively affect your self-esteem to the point where you believe something is inherently wrong with you.

…. living with the constant stress and low self-esteem created by the energy vampire can lead to chronic inflammation at a cellular level due to consistently high levels of cortisol running through your body. This in turn, encourages you to indulge in other behaviours – such as poor dietary choices or even alcohol or drug – that further increase cellular inflammation and lead to disease.



1/ Realise energy vampires are walking amongst us.

Empaths need to come to terms with the fact energy vampires exist.

2/ Keep a gut instincts journal.

Dr Northstrup believes empaths are highly intuitive. She recommends paying attention to what your gut says about a person.

For example, does he or she lie often? Then keep track of how situations play out. Even if your vampire is compelling and charming, don’t talk yourself out of your gut instincts about a person. Be sure to pay attention to how they treat ALL of the people they encounter, such as a waitress at your local restaurant.

3/ Find a reality-check friend.

Be sure to have a clearheaded and trustworthy contact with your “vampire radar” whom you can reach out to when you are feeling uncertain.

Often this is a good friend who knows you well and who hasn’t been taken in by your vampire. Call this person whenever you are unsure.

4/ Make yourself numero uno.

Energy vampires will fight for control. They can be angry and manipulative, or passive aggressive. And, they are great at “splitting behaviours” – or pitting one person against the next.

When you encounter these qualities, take a step back (or out of the room or building) and remember that you were meant to live a joyful life in which your needs and feelings count too. Then, pledge allegiance to yourself.

By this, Dr Northstrup means remember your own gifts, talents and remaining loyal to yourself.

5/ Pat yourself on the back regularly.

Most empaths give others too much credit and deflect praise for their own contributions which we tend to downplay.

Instead acknowledge you small wins.

6/ Say “no.”

One of the best ways to protect yourself is to minimise your interactions with a vampire.

You can do this by becoming “empowered in the negative.” In other words, learn how to turn people down.

Saying “no” takes practice.

And, it’s all about compassion, which as empath, you have plenty of. If you find it too difficult to say “no” at first, start by saying, “I’ll get back to you.”

The main thing you need to master is stopping the knee-jerk “yes.”

7/ Get support.

Dr Northstrup says when you finally get it, you will need support and not just from your reality check friend.

A therapist who specialises in narcissistic disorders or border personality disorders is advised.


Have you heard psychologist and empath Dr Alison Hill latest podcast. Topics include how you can find our voice and platform in this world. A podcast for the empaths out there! Tune in for free over here.

Dr Northstrup believes we can heal.

Learn more about her and  buy her book here

Push back: Dr Northrup has received criticism from some sectors of the traditional medical community for her ideas about the association between stress and disease.

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